Listen to people, be attentive to their opinions, accept criticism and welcome their beliefs.
Yet, one thing is to listen to their opinion and another to live by their opinion. It is impossible to be approved by everyone, so, live your life and pay no attention to other people’s remarks. Don’t worry about what the rest will think about you; it is your life, you do not need somebody’s approval to build your dreams. At the end, who truly cares!!!
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Work is challenging, family is challenging, school is challenging; life is a challenging thing!
Anything that you care for, that you love, that you aim at requires a great deal of effort to obtain and to maintain. No matter what, to succeed, you have to be strong and courageous, patient and persistent. 'Difficult is an excuse that success never accepts!' - Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld This week has been a week of phone calls and messages: “Mauricio, our dear friend is going into rehab tomorrow…” “Mauricio, I just called you to say thank you for all your support…” “I did mess up, but I am coming back stronger…” All this communication kept me awake all night thinking: How many times have I messed up, how many times I have been in similar situations; gotten drunk, gotten into a discussion and said the wrong thing…? How many times I have been in a situation where I had woken up in the morning hoping that I could stay in bed all day. Sometimes the guilt is so unbearable that I wished for an "undo" key to erase it all. Well, we don't have the magic key; we are guilty, we were weak, we were stupid and we were wrong. We have to assume responsibility, learn to deal with it and move forward. So, here is my thought: First, if you mess up, you really need to understand where you went wrong. How did you manage to fuck up so bad? The key is to understand and admit what you did was wrong; it takes courage to step up. Then, if you feel embarrassed, ashamed hold on to that. Next time when temptation comes knocking, and it will; remember who you were and why you wont want to be that person again. Now, to feel embarrassed is completely different than to feel guilty; guilt is the sensation of not forgiving ourselves for things that we did in the past, not forgiving ourselves for hurting someone, not forgiving ourselves even after making amends. A guilty feeling will slowly consume your soul and destroy your will. Focus on forgiving yourself for what you've done. Yes, you messed up, but forgive yourself. Learn from it and focus on repairing the situation; make the commitment to do better in the future, and let that guilt walk away. Finally, when you decide to change, you will remember everything you went through and everything you did while confused. The person you were will be a constant reminder of who you don’t want to be. The person you were will be a constant reminder that you need to remain committed to staying sober. Keep in mind: Sometimes we cannot move from our frozen state with out help. Don’t be afraid to reach out and say I am ready for change, help me get there! Do not forget your mistakes, but stay focused on the future!
Yesterday, I was giving a pep talk to my managers:
“The key to succeed in anything is to become indispensable.” Indispensable? All have a puzzled face. “Ok, let me explain it to you” I said “If you leave the company today, would it matter to us, would it affect our operation? Do you feel that at work, at home, in your life, you are doing your best? If you disappear today, would anybody miss you? That is exactly what I meant by becoming indispensable.” Indispensable is to be absolutely necessary; it is to be essential, is to be vital, crucial, and required. To be indispensable is to be irreplaceable, to become priceless! For sure, the answer is NO. So, here is my thought: If you want people to depend on you, to trust and have confidence in you, you are going to have to start making some real changes in your life. You need to make a conscious effort to make yourself indispensable. If you plan and focus, you will see how easy it is to turnaround your life. First, you need to stay positive; attitude, the right attitude is the key. Acknowledge and respect people around you, make them feel good; all will stay around positive people. Set yourself to a higher standard, always do more than what you are required to do and always do it right! Be honest and if you make a mistake, accept it and try to find a solution; do not blame your mistakes to others. Understand and learn from your failures and move forward. Be open, accept criticism and be willing to adapt, to adjust quickly. Be different than the rest, become unique. Focus and stand out from the rest; master on an expertise that no one else has. Be innovative and figure out how to solve problems, how to find solutions. Share your knowledge, share your know-how and people will listen and follow you. Last and the most important, love your family and take care of your friends; all want you to succeed and all trust you! Keep in mind: To become indispensible, first, you need to be committed to yourself and success; then, dedicated to your family, to your friends, and to your company. At the end, it always begins with you, only you! Isa da Pizza, today is a great day, it is your birthday… Woo Hoo!!! You are 14 years old and have a lot to celebrate. You have done great and have plenty to look forward. We are so proud of the gorgeous person you have become. When you put something in your mind, you just go for it until you get it. You have the persistence and a heart of a Lion that will push you to reach your goals. Isa, you decided to become a great skateboarder and you went out every single day to practice one move a day for hours until you nailed it. That is persistence! Some jumps were scary and gave you pain in your stomach, but your heart and mind took over and you were able to accomplish it. Now, your mind is set on MIT. You are a go-getter that never gives up; if you have the will and decision you will get there. Isabela, you have taught us all how to care more, to love more and to share more by bringing one dog at a time into our home and now we have a mob, 5 dogs; making sure to love them equally and caring for them with such warmth. Like your brother and sister, you always stop to help a homeless person, showing concern for others and asking "how can I help." Giving is in your soul! Your essence is as wholesome as you are, kind, giving and trusting. Kindness is a daily practice and giving is part of your soul. Yet, life teaches us that trust is something that must be earned; the only advice I will give you is to keep your eyes open and focus on your goals. Always be aware and trust your instincts rather than always trusting others. Trust is to be earned. Our smartgeous (smart-gorgeous) Isa da Pizza, may you continue to find laughter, adventure and excitement in your life by building a strong sense of who you are and always believe in your instincts. Never Change! We love you, Nesrin & Mauchy. Today, I was thinking about my adolescence, my teenage years where I managed to constantly get in trouble. So I ask myself, why did I mess up so much? Easy: Because I had too much free time; because during the afternoons and summers I did not have anything to accomplish. I did not have a hobby, I was not participating in any sports and was not focusing on my grades. Research shows that teenage appetite for novelty, and a tendency to act on impulse without regard for risk is because their brains are still developing and haven’t reach maturity. A child’s body goes through physical changes that are evident to all of us as parents. Yet, less evident are the changes taking place in our kids’ minds, particularly as they enter their teenage years. Adolescents have to deal with questions and challenges when their judgment is not yet fully developed; when they haven't had the time or experience to acquire a real sense of the world. For us, as parents, with a 'fully' developed brain, is not easy to deal with these pressures, much less for someone that is in transition from childhood to adulthood. That is why, it is so important to understand what our kid's minds are going through when we are monitoring their academic and social challenges. Teenagers are constantly looking for adventure and wanting to explore, learn and have fun. So when they are bored, left with nothing better to do, is when they get in trouble. With plenty of time on their hands they might find new forms of entertainment: Exploring drugs, alcohol, sex, and/or vandalism. So our job, as parents, is to keep them busy with productive activities to cut down on boredom and give them something to accomplish. When they are involved in classes, sports, or in something that interests them and contains a goal they wish to reach, they are less likely to risk throwing it away by acting wrong. Always keep in mind that teenager’s brains are still developing and have not reached maturity. When teenagers are bored and have too much idle time is when they make bad decisions! Success has nothing to do with race, color or religion…
Success relies on courage, commitment & effort; it depends on your decision! Yesterday, my wife got a present from a dear friend: a bag with the phrase 'Hello Gorgeous' printed on it. The bag, her friend said that it made her think of our family. At home, we always use the word gorgeous as an endearment to call the kids and the mother. Yet, I am the only one that was never been called gorgeous, LOL. Anyway, this made me think of the significance of word gorgeous. The dictionary defines it as beautiful, spectacular, splendid, wonderful, awesome, stunning, fabulous, attractive, lovely, personable, charming, delightful, or cute. A good word, but honestly, it does not portrait who my kids are. Like every parent, I do think that my kids are fantastic but also I think that they are smart and very capable. So, I need to find or to come up with a term that covers both criteria. A term that describes being clever and personable; that communicates intelligence and beauty. A term that certifies smart and gorgeous. Smart and gorgeous, I like it; I can work with it. 'SMARTGEOUS' From today on, I will call my kids SMARTGEOUS. So they will always understand that to be bright is as important as to be charming! This week we took our kids for a university tour. We visited different towns and universities so our kids could have a better idea of what type of institution they would like to attend.
During one of our stops, I got very exited about a school and I advised my oldest, Daniela: “this is the school you should attend and this is the career for you…” She looked at me and responded: “you can not choose my school or career for me, I know what I want for me!” Ouch! I just realized that I have become one of those parents, one of those parents who stays in a place longer than necessary; a parent that lingers for too long! These type of parents already have a name, they are called ‘helicopter parents.’ Parents that are always giving critical observations to a child's experiences and problems. Parents that are always getting too involved with their kids education and schools, making sure that they get a certain teacher or the ‘right’ coach; always providing excessive help with assignments and endeavors. Helicopter parents start off with good intentions. "It is a tricky line to find, to be engaged with our children and their lives, but not so enmeshed that we lose perspective on what they need," Dr. Gilboa says. Engaged parenting has many benefits for a child, such as increasing feelings of love and acceptance, building self-confidence, and providing guidance and opportunities to grow. "The problem is that, once parenting becomes governed by fear and decisions based on what might happen, it is hard to keep in mind all the things kids learn when we are not right next to them or guiding each step," Dr. Gilboa explains. "Failure and challenges teach kids new skills, and, most important, teach kids that they can handle failure and challenges." As parents, we do need to protect our kids from harm, but not from struggle or disappointment. Excessive protection is the barrier for courageousness. When we over protect our kids we are discouraging them from acting on their instincts despite risk or criticism. Defeats and failures are usefull for kids. Learning to deal with setbacks teaches them to develop key qualities they will need to succeed, such as endurance, resilience, creative thinking, and the ability to reinvent themselves. As parents, we should keep in mind: To risk is to experiment; an experiment that can succeed or fail, allowing kids to feel comfortable with failure. Our kids need to learn from trial and error; from failure and success! So, Daniela, my love, good luck with school; we wish you the best! And always remember: We are here to support any decision you make. If you feel that I am pushing you too hard, always keep in mind…
I have nothing to gain other than your success! Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld |
Who I am today as a person is largely due to my failures! Archives
January 2024
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