I have always struggled in eliminating poor habits.  My personality is all or none.  So I would go for drastic changes and always fail. I went back and analyzed what are the things that I did with successful results and why? I realized that success was the result of small steps of change instead of extreme transformations.

In my late 20’s, my brother, Esteban, an amazing athlete, came to visit me.  The first thing he said was “you have terrible posture and if you continue like this you will not be able to walk by the time you reach 45”.  He recommended small changes in my life style…” I do not want you to go crazy but be consistent in doing just one thing a day."  He suggested I do a few push ups and sit-ups everyday.  On the first day I did ½ of a push up and a couple of sit-ups. On the Second day 1 more push-up until I build enough strength and endurance. I have kept at it everyday and today I easily do 45 to 50 pushups and over a hundred sit-ups.

After seeing the physical changes, I reflected on my mental state and decided to change negative habits in my personality as well.

How am I going to accomplish it?

In order to move away from bad habits, I must replace them with good ones. I need to shift my routines.

Simple… find good habits and with will power and determination, replace them... easy to say!

In fact it is all about determination and your willpower. It only works if you have made the resolution to change and ready to evolve in small steps instead of expecting instant gratification or miracle results. It goes for loosing weight, drinking, smoking or any difficult challenges.

21 days rule:  for anything to become a habit, good or bad you must practice it consistently for 21 days. When you want to start a habit, don’t try to do it for life. Just focus and convince yourself to stick to it for 3 weeks. After you see the results, your unconscious will continue with it and will become one of your habits. I was taught this rule when I used to be a door-to-door encyclopedia salesman to pay for my College. Tom, our manager will tell us…” stick to the routine for 21 days and you will become a top seller”. I did… and became the top seller in my team.

Another way to break a habit is to make a public statement and recruit people to constantly remind you. I made a deal with my kids that every time I use a curse word I would pay them a dollar. $300 later I am almost done with cursing… 1 dollar at a time.

Today, I constantly fill up my brain with constructive and positive readings like The Greatest Salesman of the World, Blue Ocean Strategy, The Compound Effect, and others. Also I enjoy listening to TED and similar talks. My exercise regime has increased to 6 days a week for 2 to 3 hours per session… running, cycling and swimming. My diet has also improved; I stick to baked vs. fried, grilled proteins, multy grain flours, and some greens. I have substituted alcohol consumption with herbal infusions.

The effect on my attitude has been tremendous.  I am more positive and have gained a lot of patience, which is one of my shortcomings and I think that I have become a little wiser. My physical condition has improved 10 fold. Last week, I had a physical and was told my metabolism is of a 23 year old, body fat is at 14%, and a strong heart. I thought to myself, not bad for an old man who a few years ago was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and anemia. 

This did not happen overnight.  It was a long process with small changes and more changes until I had a routine that became part of me. I still have a lot of work ahead and occasionally have some setbacks, but the key is to accept it and move on instead of giving up!

At 45, my posture is great and still able to “walk”…  with a great perspective on life!

Although this blog is non-political I have to begin with this anecdote …
My wife Nesrin and I had many discussions about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and never agreed on anything. However something that she told me many years ago, in one of our heated discussions, stayed in my mind… “Everything has been taken from the Palestinians, even their PRIDE”… I repeat this is a non-political blog.

Even their Pride…
Constantly I tell my kids that the most important thing that they have is their pride and nobody can take it away from them.  When I use the word “pride” (in Spanish, orgullo) I do not use it as arrogance. I use it for self-esteem (amor propio, autoestima). “The consciousness of one's own dignity” which is one of the definitions I found in the dictionary.

While I was attending American University in my early 20’s I created a student discount card, PHD Express.  I expanded PHD to 5 other universities and had over 500 businesses honoring the card in the DC area. The venture was doing well but due to the lack of management experience I lost control and it failed.

The result of me focusing on my business was that I lost sight of my studies. My grades dropped, failed some of my classes and lost my partial scholarship. 

My venture folded as my life did as well. I did not have any money to pay for school, rent or food. So here I am, broke with out a degree, with out a place to live and hungry.

Now, what kept me going? My pride, my self-esteem, my determination.  It would have been very easy to pick up the phone and call my father, “Padre, I am done, please send me money to go back to Ecuador.” My Pride, would not allow me to accept defeat or a call for help.

A good friend of mine was kind enough to allow me to sleep on the floor at his studio. Another friend allowed me to borrow his school cafeteria card so I could have something to eat. I was at a point where I couldn’t even afford a bus ride, so my mode of transportation was roller blading.

Although I was completely broke I never lost hope. I kept my posture and my smile. I would speak in a loud confident voice, always dressed in clean and ironed clothing. I would talk about my ideas and did not show defeat. Slowly I got back on my feet and began building my business…

While I was building my business, I met many homeless who ended up working for me and becoming my friends. I tried to take some of them out of the streets but I never succeeded. They did not want to leave the streets because they did not want any responsibility. They already had given up on life, accepted defeat and lost their dignity.

A few weeks ago, at home, we rented the movie “The Pursuit of Happiness.” It is a film based on the life of Chris Gardnes and his humble beginnings. The story is about a man who was able to get a job as a stockbroker in a prestigious firm even though he was homeless and had to fight every night for space to sleep with his young son at the shelter. He was able to defeat many bad situations because he never lost his self-esteem, and always had hope and determination. I mentioned to my kids that I could really relate to his life. I even had a little tear in my eye from the similarities of our lives.

Where would I be today, if I had gone back to Ecuador? 
First, I wouldn’t have met Nesrin and have 3 amazing kids, then… and finally wouldn’t have the authority to write about failure.

We all have defeats in life but the key is to maintain our confidence, and preserve our self-esteem. When one is so down one can only rise!  No other option!

The most important thing that you have is your pride and nobody can take it away from you!    

A Few days ago I wrote about procrastination in my blog. I mentioned that I have  dyslexia. A dear friend from childhood approached me and told me that her son “suffers” from dyslexia. We had an email exchange in which I told her that having dyslexia is really a gift. My son, Gabriel, also has dyslexia. He was diagnosed at a very young age and worked with a specialized tutor to teach him how to manage his life with dyslexia. He is at a point where he can identify his weaknesses and utilize his strengths to overcome any hurdles. Today he is 13 years old and an A student with a great personality, analytical, and a great sense of humor.  He knows that he has to work harder than others on certain subjects and accepts it as part of who he is.

For me growing up with dyslexia was not always easy...
During my time in elementary school, dyslexia was not even a term people knew or understood. I was perceived as a problem child! I refused to accept it and built other strengths based on my weakness! I was not able to read aloud and I had difficulty understanding the teachers. I would spend hours sketching in my books… my parents did not understand my problem.  I compensated my inability to read and write well by being very social, outgoing and able to resolve complicated problems with simple solutions. My brain could not  absorb complicated solutions.

The combination of my weaknesses and my strengths are the reasons for my success.  I would not be where I am without my weaknesses and how I viewed and compensated in carving out my path in life. Today I am an inventor, motivator, “designer” (I believe I am)… I am not afraid of looking at a challenge and conquering it… Dyslexia, which was my weakness,  is a blessing in disguise.

The majority tend to use their weakness or handicap as an excuse for their defeats.  In my case, I have so many weaknesses that I had to learn how to utilize them to improve my life.

My goal was to have my friend understand and nurture her son's dyslexia and have her son understand and appreciate his gift. If nurtured correctly he can become a giant in any field he chooses.

Here are some names of people that we all recognize and have the gift of Dyslexia:
Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, George Washington, Pablo Picasso, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Thomas Jefferson, John F. Kennedy, Richard Branson, Henry Ford, John Lennon among others. All giants in their fields and were able to impact the world.

The attached link proves that the achievements I have made in my life have a direct relationship to the gift I was born with, dyslexia!

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/06/business/06dyslexia.html?_r=0    

In August, I was traveling to San Diego to attend a High Performance Forum.  I scheduled my arrival a day before in order to attend a casual get together with most of the attendees at the hotel lobby bar.  It was a good way to meet everyone in a casual atmosphere prior to the forum.  I hired a car service in advance to pick me up from the airport to assure a timely arrival.

The plane lands at 9:20, pm estimated time of arrival to Hotel 10:20pm!  One hour later I am waiting for the car service on the curb at gate #2.  The driver calls me and I kept repeating the gate or exit # and after 45 minutes he realized he was at the wrong terminal.  Finally he arrives, I enter the car and notice the driver has a fresh black eye.  I asked him what happened.  He told me he was a boxer and he had match and got hit in the eye.  I laughed and said bullshit, you were at a bar last night, got drunk and had a fight.  With a startled look he says, how did you know?  I told him I was in the nightclub business.  Anyway, the best part starts now.  Here is this teddy bear personality of a driver trying to find his way to the hotel with out a GPS.  He calls in to Frank, the manager, and asks for help.  At this point I had to just laugh and film the situation.  It went from bad to worse.  After several failed attempts and Frank could not help, I asked him to pull over to the nearest hotel where I took a taxi.  Arrival time, 12:30, so much for the casual get together!

The following 3 days I attended an amazing forum and on the 3rd day I was getting ready to give a testimonial when I received a phone call.  It was Frank, the manager, asking me if I would like to arrange a pick up time.  I was shocked!  I said, Frank, are you serious?  Did you know I ended up taking a taxi?  Frank responded by apologizing and he was eager to repair the mistake.  I told him that I would do it under one condition, that he would have to personally pick me up and listen to me.  Frank told me he does not drive but he is the manager.  I said to him, I know you are the owner and you don’t drive but if I schedule a pickup you have to drive me.  He agreed and showed up on time.  First impression of Frank: sloppy looking with long curly hair.  I said to him, how can you show up like this?  “Well, I am a soccer player.  I am like the Great Messi for San Diego.”  I told him I really don’t care what he does on the side but he needs to look more professional.  How does he expect his employees to show up to work looking good when he doesn’t set the example. I was so pumped up and inspired from the forum and that is when he had to listen to my advise on how to improve his company, what books to read and how he can take control.

Frank was not really sure what to make of me.  He looked at me and just listened. Frank took an important first step by showing up.  He was put into position of taking the responsibility of repairing damage that was created by another employee.  Frank has the potential to grow and improve his company but sometimes people get comfortable with an acceptable product or service.  The goal is to have an exceptional product or service!  Frank was surprised and happy at the end of our ride and conversation.  He thanked me with a hug.

In my company the buck stops with me! I am responsible for all mistakes in my company and try to make no excuses! I teach my kids to take full responsibility for their actions. When you ask my 10 year old, what is an excuse… she responds, “excuses are for losers.” We all make mistakes, but the majority will not assume responsibility.

Frank took responsibility and rearranged his schedule to pick me up… I am confident he will put his house in order. By taking responsibility he earned a loyal customer!

Why am I writing about procrastination?  I have been thinking about writing a blog in support of my I Love Failure project for some time and kept putting it off.  I used my dyslexia and inability to write well as an excuse.  What is procrastination according to the dictionary: to put off doing something, postpone taking action, defer.

Procrastination comes from lack of motivation, lack of discipline, poor management habits, lack of skill or seeking perfection.  I thought to myself in reality they are just excuses for nonperformance.  I realized also that my work does not need to be perfect. So I recruited my wife to write my thoughts for me.  Even though she is not a professional writer she is better than me.   In the book "Eat the Frog", Brian Tracy teaches how to overcome procrastination, and affirms that the #1 reason for failure is Procrastination.  

One must find the motivation within them to accomplish what they set as a goal for that day.  Make a list of items you need to finish in one day and prioritize with the most difficult first. Set time aside with zero distractions and focus. Repeat, repeat and repeat the process until high performance is achieved.  My goal was to start on September 1, 2012 a blog.  I did do the writing in my notebook but my wife was not available.  Oh well, can’t control everything!  Here we are September 10, 2012 and our first blog is out.   

I would like to talk about why Procrastination was an important subject for me.  I am in the process of restructuring and developing a new path and strategy for our company.  I had to reflect on failures of the past and some were due to procrastination.  Waiting too long to implement a change; waiting too long to get rid of a bad apple in the company; waiting too long to get rid of a location; etc. etc…..

I am writing about Procrastination in order to help myself and encourage others to break the fear of just doing!  I am a Latino, with a very heavy accent, dyslexic, and speech issues and have decided as one my goals is to write a book, I Love Failure.  I am no longer waiting for a solution to my problems, because they will never go away, but I needed to find a way to work around them.  Once I realized I did not have to have the perfect English or the perfect writer, (sorry wife), I can start!