Yesterday, my wife got a present from a dear friend: a bag with the phrase 'Hello Gorgeous' printed on it. The bag, her friend said that it made her think of our family. At home, we always use the word gorgeous as an endearment to call the kids and the mother. Yet, I am the only one that was never been called gorgeous, LOL. Anyway, this made me think of the significance of word gorgeous. The dictionary defines it as beautiful, spectacular, splendid, wonderful, awesome, stunning, fabulous, attractive, lovely, personable, charming, delightful, or cute. A good word, but honestly, it does not portrait who my kids are. Like every parent, I do think that my kids are fantastic but also I think that they are smart and very capable. So, I need to find or to come up with a term that covers both criteria. A term that describes being clever and personable; that communicates intelligence and beauty. A term that certifies smart and gorgeous. Smart and gorgeous, I like it; I can work with it. 'SMARTGEOUS' From today on, I will call my kids SMARTGEOUS. So they will always understand that to be bright is as important as to be charming!
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This week we took our kids for a university tour. We visited different towns and universities so our kids could have a better idea of what type of institution they would like to attend.
During one of our stops, I got very exited about a school and I advised my oldest, Daniela: “this is the school you should attend and this is the career for you…” She looked at me and responded: “you can not choose my school or career for me, I know what I want for me!” Ouch! I just realized that I have become one of those parents, one of those parents who stays in a place longer than necessary; a parent that lingers for too long! These type of parents already have a name, they are called ‘helicopter parents.’ Parents that are always giving critical observations to a child's experiences and problems. Parents that are always getting too involved with their kids education and schools, making sure that they get a certain teacher or the ‘right’ coach; always providing excessive help with assignments and endeavors. Helicopter parents start off with good intentions. "It is a tricky line to find, to be engaged with our children and their lives, but not so enmeshed that we lose perspective on what they need," Dr. Gilboa says. Engaged parenting has many benefits for a child, such as increasing feelings of love and acceptance, building self-confidence, and providing guidance and opportunities to grow. "The problem is that, once parenting becomes governed by fear and decisions based on what might happen, it is hard to keep in mind all the things kids learn when we are not right next to them or guiding each step," Dr. Gilboa explains. "Failure and challenges teach kids new skills, and, most important, teach kids that they can handle failure and challenges." As parents, we do need to protect our kids from harm, but not from struggle or disappointment. Excessive protection is the barrier for courageousness. When we over protect our kids we are discouraging them from acting on their instincts despite risk or criticism. Defeats and failures are usefull for kids. Learning to deal with setbacks teaches them to develop key qualities they will need to succeed, such as endurance, resilience, creative thinking, and the ability to reinvent themselves. As parents, we should keep in mind: To risk is to experiment; an experiment that can succeed or fail, allowing kids to feel comfortable with failure. Our kids need to learn from trial and error; from failure and success! So, Daniela, my love, good luck with school; we wish you the best! And always remember: We are here to support any decision you make. If you feel that I am pushing you too hard, always keep in mind…
I have nothing to gain other than your success! Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld So, my wife, Nesrin, tells me: “You have not written anything for a while… You need to sit down and focus!” She is always overseeing me; literally she is like my mother… pick up, turn off the computer, enough wine, time to go… and I love it! Yet, this time I might have an answer to her: Sometimes, it is good to take a break. You can not be running around 24/7. Yes, I have a goal, I want to create a platform that shows people that failure is just a step before success; yet, sometimes my brain, my thoughts just get clouded. For the past 4 years, I have been constantly writing, talking and building iLoveFailure.com but, like everyone else, from time to time we all need a break. When that passion, that job or your family that you once loved seems more like an obligation is when you need a break; you need to pause and become a spectator! At times, John Lennon’s advice is the best “let it be;” sit on the back seat, breath, watch and learn. Then, when you are ready, when you are re-charged, again move to the front. When you take time to reflect, you are allocating time to reconnect with your purpose and calling, you are taking time to see once more the big picture of your life. Keep in mind: We all need a time out! To take a break, it is not a sign of weakness, it is just a moment that will bring us back to a stronger state of mind. Take your time, enjoy and improve! |
Who I am today as a person is largely due to my failures! Archives
January 2024
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