Being able to communicate with others is one of the best life skills a person can develop. A person who can effectively communicate thoughts, ideas, and feelings is better equipped for success. − Imagine you are trapped in a box and you are unable to communicate with anyone. Many children with autism live with that sensation all their lives. They see, they hear, they feel, but are never heard. Their loved ones constantly live with the frustration of interpreting movements, sounds, moods or the look in their eyes. The agony is in trying to communicate and understand. Camille, a beautiful girl, a beautiful girl with autism, has been working very hard to communicate with the world. Camille and her family refused to give up on her. Together they constantly aspire to improve her ability to connect with the world. In the past few months they finally had a breakthrough! They managed to open a gate into Camille’s’ mind. Camille was able to express her thoughts to everyone. She can finally step out of the box of silence! RPM, The Rapid Prompting Method, is a technique that allows Autistic kids to spell their thoughts out on a screen. With this tool, Camille is able to express herself and show the world how empathetic and intelligent she is. Now she has the ability to express her thoughts, desires, and frustration. I want, I feel, I like, I am not happy, I understand… Camille’s voice has been empowered by having a voice. And what a great voice she has…
Bravo Camille! − Unlike Camille, many of us have the ability to speak but not necessarily we do have the ability to communicate. Communication is to effectively convey or share ideas and feelings; it is about expressing and listening. At home, I see the frustration of my children trying to communicate with us. Just putting their thoughts into words sometimes can be very challenging. Often as parents, we tend to just listen to the words and make a quick interpretation or judgment without really comprehending. Those are the times that I wish that my kids had some type of software that could help them to clearly express their ideas, and could help us as parents to open our minds and understand. We should all see Camille and her family’s sweet success as a lesson, as a lesson of purpose. They taught us that if we are determined we can all improve our skills on voicing, listening and understanding. Thank you Camille for reminding us of an important skill that sometimes we take for granted. "Successful communication is much more than being able to talk; it's the ability to voice, to listen and to understand" - Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld
1 Comment
We are shaped by our thoughts… If we replace our negative, pessimistic, defeatist thoughts with positive, optimistic and affirmative ones… We will see a great improvement in our lives; we will become more productive, will have favorable outcomes and most importantly we will feel great about ourselves and others… Our job: To reshape our minds by being positive! “Choose the positive. You have a choice. You are the master of your attitude. Choose the positive, the constructive. Optimism is a faith that leads to success.” - Bruce Lee We all have been in a situation where we were determined to accomplish something but quickly found an excuse to give it up. To set up a goal is easy but to achieve it is not. Most of the time when it gets tough, we quickly decide we've had just enough … and we quit! When you think that you had it, take a break, leave it alone and come back to it later. Don’t just abandon it! Do not act on an impulse or emotion; give yourself some breathing time to think things through. Step back and you will have a different perspective. Then when you step forward again, you might have figured out a solution. We need to understand that something worthwhile takes a lot of work, a lot of breathing time and most importantly, plenty of determination. “One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat” - Napoleon Hill “Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit” - Vince Lombardi When I began working on my blog, “I Love Failure”, my writing skills were as proficient as a five year old. Today after 2 years of dedication, I believe that I have improved … to the level of an 11 year old. So, here is the question: How did I manage to get so many people to follow my writings as a Latino that speaks a funky English and has difficulty writing and frequently sounds confused? Easy… People relate to people they can connect with. Your friends and the individuals that you enjoy talking and listening to, frequently are the ones that you feel close to. If I had presented myself as a dapper, eloquent, handsome guy; a flawless man, a “James Bond” type of guy, my readership would be diminutive. Why? Because the majority would not be able to relate to me, I would be seen as a star that is too far to reach. - I use writing as a tool to communicate my thoughts to others. When I have a useful message or idea to share and is presented in a simple manner, people listen. However, if I try to convey the same message using a fancy vocabulary, trying to sound illustrious, I will lose them. They would see right through the facade. Here is the lesson: If you want people to listen to you, share your thoughts and expertise in a simple, clear & straightforward way. Create a connection when sharing your thoughts and do not get complicated. Stay real! The more you give the more you get in return.
I have never been able to correctly use or understand the word “empathy.” Today, I decided to finally get a grip on it, to understand the meaning and when to use it. The dictionary defines empathy as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. So, empathy is compassion and caring which is the display of kindness and concern for others. WRONG! Empathy is not just to care or to sympathize with someone, it is to understand and feel another’s feelings. Ok, I got it. To feel empathy is to feel along, it is to be able to identify with someone because you've been there. To be compassionate is when you haven't been there; it means that you don’t necessarily feel their feelings. - Now I understood the difference. "Empathy is to bring you back into an experience through another person. To understand and not just to express a sentiment." - Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld The dictionary defines a teacher as a person who teaches. “A person who teaches...” what a limited and deficient definition. If this is the definition that we use to describe them, how much can we demand from them? Yes, a teacher’s job is to teach and a lot more! The dictionary should update the definition to:
With this updated definition teachers will feel enormously proud of their jobs and the effects on the students would be awe-inspiring. “There is no system in the world or any school in the country that is better than its teachers. Teachers are the lifeblood of the success of schools” - Sir Ken Robinson I decided to find out how wise I am by creating my own “WISDOM TEST”
First, what does it mean to be wise: To be wise is to have experience, knowledge, and good judgment. To be wise is not getting old but to become aware, to understand life. The WISDOM TEST consists of 7 questions, each with a scale of 1 to 10. 1 is crappy, 10 is accomplished. The sum of all the points total 70 if the result is an A (Accomplished), 60 is a B (not Bad), 50 is a C (Controversial), 40 is a D (Defective), 39 and below is an F (Failed). The Wisdom Test
Today, I took the test and here is my score: 3,3,10,10,4,10,7 = 47 “47” means that I am on the borderline of failing. “47” is a D for Defective. “47” is the story of my academic life… ha, ha, ha. - But this this time I am not letting it go unnoticed. I am going to prepare, retake the test and improve my grade. Now, how can I prepare myself to improve my grade? I found on WikiHow these tips on “How to Improve Your Grades.” I will tailor these tips to prepare for my test.
Great tips… If I patiently follow them and apply myself, I should be able to improve my grade and become a wiser man. - Have fun, take “THE WIDSOM TEST," give yourself a grade and find out in which areas you need to improve. Please share the results with us! "Wisdom is to accept and live in peace with situations that cannot be altered and to have the courage to challenge the status quo... Wisdom is to be prudent but not scared!" Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld Yesterday was one of those days, full of situations... Knowing that I am not a serene man and tend to lose my temper easily, I decided to write about the emotion of being frustrated. Hoping that by putting it in writing, I would be able to clear my mind and handle the situation at ease... - We all have experienced situations in which we become frustrated. Other than being able to stay calm and relaxed, we allow our tension and emotions to rise. We lose control and become helpless in doing anything. Frustration exists when our needs are not met and we cannot find a solution, when we are confronted with opposition! Frustration is a normal feeling but the important part is how we manage it. If you feel lost in dealing with frustration and you are trying to get a grip, Dr. Judith Orloff provides 4 tips for converting the energy of our frustration into positive actions. Tip #1 - Focus on a specific issue—don't escalate or mount a personal attack. For instance, "I feel frustrated when you promise to do something but there is no follow-through." No resorting to threats or insults. In an even, non-blaming tone, lead with how the behavior makes you feel rather than how you think the other person is wrong. Tip #2 - Listen non-defensively without reacting or interrupting. It's a sign of respect to hear a person's point of view, even if you disagree. Avoid an aggressive tone or body language. Try not to squirm with discomfort or to judge. Tip #3 - Intuit the feelings behind the words. When you can appreciate someone's motivation, it's easier to be patient. Try to sense if this person is frightened, insecure, up against a negative part of themselves they've never confronted. If so, realize this can be painful. See what change they're open to. Tip #4 - Respond with clarity and compassion. This attitude takes others off the defensive so they're more comfortable admitting their part in causing frustration. Describe everything in terms of remedies to a specific task, rather then generalizing. State your needs. For instance, "I'd really appreciate you not shouting at me even if I disappoint you." If the person is willing to try, show how pleased you are. Validate their efforts: "Thanks for not yelling at me. I really value your understanding." See if the behavior improves. If not, you may have to minimize contact and/or expectations. Well, I have plenty to learn and also I would like to add my own: Tip #5 - Find an outlet that allows you to breathe and calm down. Once your mind is relaxed your view becomes clearer and not clouded with anger. Better decisions are made with a clear and relaxed mind. We all, particularly me, need to make a conscious effort to follow these useful tips and have the power to manage our emotions. “To take control of our lives, first we need to understand who we are and what we want to become. Understanding our habits and know that we can alter them. For that, our conscious mind has to be aware of what needs to be altered, and we have to make a conscious effort of wanting to adjust.” Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld - The Power of Our Mind |
Who I am today as a person is largely due to my failures! Archives
January 2024
|