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I Love Failure

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MAURICIO FRAGA-ROSENFELD

A MESSAGE FOR MY SON

7/21/2014

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Today is my son’s birthday; Gabriel is turning 15!
It’s going to be a lonely celebration for him… quote un-quote.  
Our Family is in different parts of the world. Daniela, our oldest, is in NY, Gabriel in Washington DC working for the company and the rest of us are in Madrid packing and getting ready for our journey back to DC.

Here is our message for you:
Gabriel today you are turning 15, what a great age...
This year your life changed completely, you became a handsome, independent young man!
It was not an easy year, but you managed to pull it off.
Like I told you before, 
“you are not a kid anymore, you are a young adult and going through new experiences. Bear in mind, these are the awesome times in your life. Embrace it!
Reflect on this past year and try to understand what are the things you did right and wrong. Have you been able to accomplish the goals that you set for yourself?
A birthday gives you the chance to begin again. Learning from your mistakes and accomplishments allows you to embark on your next year with great enthusiasm!
Follow your dreams and be willing to accomplish them. Do not be afraid of trying, risking and failing. Errors are part of life and growing up, they are your experiences! If you are not failing it is because you are not risking enough! If you are not risking, you are not living!”

Today at work, think about what a great opportunity you have. Use this job as a training ground for life; talk to people, ask questions, get as much knowledge and experiences as possible. Work hard and do your best… Don't lose your focus and keep at it!     

Although you are in DC with out your family, always remember that we are here for you! We love you and we are thinking about you!

So Gabriel, while celebrating your birthday understand, that each day is a gift and you should always cherish it.  Most importantly, you have a great attitude and you are a very caring person, NEVER change! To be a kind and caring human being is key to a successful life!
 
"A plan is worthless unless you have the determination, the guts and the courage to make it work." (Gabriel, you have all 3!) - Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld, so proud to be your father!


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A WISE MAN

7/18/2014

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Last month, I decided to go to Washington, DC for only 4 days to take care of business. It was a short visit and a hectic one, but I was needing to go back home, to Madrid as soon as possible.
On my fourth day, while walking out of a meeting, I saw an old man, a man close to his 90's hanging on to my car with one hand and holding on to a walking cane with the other.
I had parked on a busy avenue and this gentleman was holding on to my car attempting to cross the street. He was hesitant, thinking, “should I go or should I not”.  I stood there for a minute watching him trying to cross the busy street while thinking what else I needed to accomplish that day.
Eventually I approached him and said, “Sir, can I help you cross the street?” He looked at me puzzled, while thinking if he should cross the busy avenue or not.  “Sir,” I said again, “this is my car and I need to leave…”
He looked at me with a grin while climbing back to the sidewalk and said, “I better stay, my wife is coming and she will be a lot more confused than I am if she doesn’t find me here.”
He managed to climb to the sidewalk and hold on to a pole to wait for his wife.
Wow, it just hit to me...
I was in a hurry, running around trying to put off fires, finishing with meetings and trying to accomplish everything in 4 days… then I meet this older man!
A gentleman with a great attitude. He was slow, a little confused, needed support but at the end he smiled and made smart choices based on his and his wife’s limitations.  He looked at me unperturbed and I imagined him saying, “what is the hurry? I have been around for almost a century and let me tell you something: We have one life and we are here to enjoy it. Our difficulties and issues are here today and will be there tomorrow and we will continue to always have issues… yes, we have to deal with them, but we don’t have to kill ourselves in solving them.”
At that moment, I had just learned a great lesson…
I was focused on finishing all my tasks with a small window to accomplish everything so I was stressed. I could not focus and my head felt like a pressure cooker ready to explode.
Although, my mind tends to perform well under a lot of pressure,  many times that stress weighs me down, makes me angry, sad, fed up and over time I feel burned out.
I know that It’s easier to focus on my tasks when I am feeling light and relaxed; when I place my fears on the side.
After seeing this older man’s attitude I felt as if somebody put a needle in my head and released all the pressure; I felt at ease…

Funny, I thought, that I had reached out to help, and at the end he is the one that really helped me; he is the one that brought me back to my own writings, "We have one life and we are here to enjoy it."
A great lesson from a wise man. Thank you!

“Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.” ― Hans Christian Andersen


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The Napoleon Complex

7/10/2014

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Yesterday, while laughing with a group of friends on a chat, they began to make fun of my short stature; a friend said you are a small man, accept your genetic failure and move forward…
While goofing around it occurred to me to write a blog about weaknesses and compensation.
My wife, Nesrin, always tells me that I suffer from a Napoleon Complex whenever she gets mad with me.
So, what is the meaning of this suffering?
“Napoleon complex, or "short man syndrome", is a pejorative slang term describing a type of psychological phenomenon which is said to exist in people, usually men, of short stature.
It is characterized by overly-aggressive or domineering social behavior, and carries the implication that such behavior is compensatory for the subjects' stature. The term is also used more generally to describe people who are driven by a perceived handicap to overcompensate in other aspects of their lives.” Wikipedia

The term compensation refers to a type of defense mechanism in which people overachieve in one area to compensate for failures in another.
Positive compensations may help to overcome difficulties. Psychologist Alfred Adler suggested whenever people experience feelings of inferiority; they automatically experience a compensatory need to strive for superiority. As a result, people push themselves to overcome their weaknesses and achieve their goals. WHAT IS COMPENSATION?
On the other hand people can overcompensate or undercompensate which in turn can have a negative effect. One can strive for power and dominance that can lead to abuse. If one undercompensates by a need for help, can lead to a lack of courage and a fear for life. 
One of my weaknesses is dyslexia.  Growing up with dyslexia was not always easy…
During my elementary years, dyslexia was not even a term people knew or understood. I was perceived as a problem child! I was not able to read out loud and had difficulty understanding the teachers. I would spend hours sketching in my notebooks… my parents did not understand my problem. 
I refused to accept it and built other strengths based on my weakness! 
I was able to compensate my inability to read and write by being very social, outgoing and able to resolve complicated problems with simple solutions.
The combination of my weaknesses and my strengths are the reasons for my success.  I would not be where I am today without my weaknesses and as a result of my compensations that carved out my path in life. 
Dyslexia, which was supposed to be my weakness, became a blessing in disguise. I am not afraid of looking at a challenge and conquering it…
The majority of people tend to use their weakness or handicaps as an excuse for their defeats.  In my case, I have so many weaknesses that I had to learn how to utilize them to improve my life.
So, next time that Nesrin gets mad at me and tells me that I suffer from the Napoleon Complex, I will reply with a thank you! 
Yet, I might be overcompensating a little too much and may need to tone it down. :) :)



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A GREAT LESSON

7/6/2014

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Yesterday, while visiting Washington DC, my computer crashed. My son, Gabriel, and I walked into an apple store for service without having an appointment.

I approached the host and explained to him the situation… he looked at me and said “Sir, there is nothing that we can do, you do not have an appointment…” I replied to him in a nice and soft manner “do me a favor, I am flying back to Madrid tomorrow, can you find a way to take care of it?” while putting my hand on his shoulder.

To my surprise, he flipped my hand and he said, “stay away from me!” I backed up and with an even stronger tone of voice, I asked him to call the manager. I knew he or she would be able to do something.

A few minutes later the manager approached us already with an attitude and said to us “I will send a technician to look into your problem, but I don’t think he will be able to do anything today.”

Then a technician arrived, clearly with an attitude. He did not even look into my face and talking to the air, he asked what was the problem.

Finally to make things worse, while I was looking for a cable to buy a salesperson put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me to the side with out saying excuse me.  As if he was trying to make a point. 
It seemed like every employee at the store had a problem with us.

I said to Gabriel, "I want you understand what is going on. This is a mistake that we all make, a problem that we all have."

We walked in with a great disposition and tried to find a solution for our problem but immediately the host and manager said to us there is nothing they can do about it.

They already decided there was no solution; they were not willing to find one.

Because I am a stubborn individual and an enemy of the phrase “there is nothing we can do about it,” I pressed for a solution.

The coworkers were not happy about it, and all had a terrible attitude towards me. In their eyes I was the bad guy. I was the guy that walked into their territory and pushed my way in.

This is a sin that we are all guilty of. At home, at work, at school we all have ganged up against somebody that we don’t agree with. Even if the person is right… and that is wrong!

While working with Omar, the technician, we were able to establish a good rapport. When he was finished repairing the computer I invited him to stop by Máte, one of our restaurants, to have a drink on us.

He was surprised and said  “you are the owner of Mate… so you are also the owner of Chicha…” I said yes.

Omar, the technician said pointing at the host, the host with the attitude problem, “you know, he works for you, he is one of your Dj's…” I turned around and said, pointing my finger at him… “that piece of .… works for me?” The host turned around surprised without knowing how to react.

In life and in business, you should always be your best because you never know whom you are talking to.

It is important to treat everyone you encounter with the same respect that you would like to be treated. People don’t always look the way you would imagine them to look, so don’t judge people based on their outward appearance or you could miss out on amazing opportunities.

At the end of our visit to the apple store, the computer was repaired, Omar gave me his card so I could call him directly if I have any issues, Brian the Dj was still puzzled, not knowing how to react; he knew he screwed up.  The rest of the workers were hiding behind the customers, so they would not be recognized.

The best part of this visit was that Gabriel, my son, had learned a few valuable lessons at the age of 14:

  • There is always something that you can do.
  • If you treat everyone the same you would avoid missing out on opportunities.
  • Do not pre-judge people.


"Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people - your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way" - Barbara Bush


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    Who I am today as a person is largely due to my failures!
    Failures are the speed bumps in life that matter!  They are not regrets but small disappointments that wake up the strength within us! Failures are the process of learning and improving!  Without failures we simply are at a status quo!  

    "success is built on many failures..." 

    Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld

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