Three years ago I wrote about second opportunities that you get in life: “Today, I am celebrating the 30th anniversary of my motorcycle accident. At fifteen I crashed into a wall with out wearing a helmet. I was left on the street for dead. By luck, a neighborhood friend was in the area and ran home to tell my brother, Esteban, about the accident. A few years later Esteban recalled the incident, “you were laying on the asphalt, your head was cracked open and it was disgusting. I had to scrape every part up and hold your head together until we got you to the hospital. If you were not my brother I can’t imagine that I could do that.” Lucky me, I made it, with fewer brain cells but still functioning. :)” Well, today I am celebrating my 33rd anniversary and I felt like I should share some thoughts and make a public commitment:
"If you really want to change your life, you must first begin by changing your mind!" - Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld
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Twenty-eight years ago I arrived to Gainesville, Florida; scared, not knowing the language and with $600 in my pocket. Yet, on the first day I managed to find a job, a job that paid $3 an hour, digging trenches and laying television cables; an arduous and a powerful lesson, where I learned the value of hard work. Living in Ecuador, we were not wealthy but had a comfortable upper middle class life. There, I had zero responsibilities, a large social life and plenty of partying. I knew everybody, had many acquaintances but a handful of real friends. Landing in the United States, without a word of English, not knowing anyone or any social contacts had a huge impact. Before moving I was always busy, like a busy bee; there was always noise around me, I always had something to do and someone to talk, I never had to be alone. All of a sudden I find myself in a strange country all alone with no communication skills. Here, I quickly learned what solitude meant and was about. I learned more about myself and who I was. I was able to see the selfish and stupid side of me, the amount of time I had managed to waste, and more important, how I was throwing my life away! Some nights after coming home, alone after work I would find myself crying; I cried not for pain or sorrow but for what I was finally able to see, for the awakening. I finally could identify my faults and see the unrealistic life I was living. I was crying tears of enlightenment! I was finally able to see a journey, it may not be the perfect journey but it was the journey for me. These were the tears of solitude. Before, I was never alone, never knew how to be alone and never liked being alone. Now, I cherish my time, the time that I can dedicate to me and to my better understanding of myself. I treasure the ‘Magic of Solitude.’ Practicing solitude gave me the opportunity to rediscover my life. By withdrawing from my family, friends and acquaintances, I was able to remove their influence on me and to realign my mind and heart. I was able to evaluate my assumptions, people’s expectations, that often were incorrect. Practicing solitude I am able to perceive my own heartbeat and breathing and able to pay attention to my mind, I can reflect on my past, understand my present situation and draft a blueprint for my future. Practicing solitude I break the cycle of busyness in my life, and become better equipped to convey understanding and patience with others; turned into a more reliable husband, father, partner or friend. _Now, how to practice solitude: First, find a time and place were you could disconnect from the world. Begin with short periods, 5,10, 20, 30 minutes and allow yourself to wander, it is your alone time. Eventually, you will settle in on something that your mind has been trying to find an explanation, especially when you feel overwhelmed with responsibilities. Listen to it! If you fall sleep, don’t worry, it means that you feel peace or just need the rest, so embrace it! This is your time to connect with God, with your senses, with your feelings and soul. So, give solitude a chance; you don’t have anything to lose and plenty to learn and gain! If you want people to listen to you, share your knowledge.
If you want friends and family to care about you, treasure them. If you want to grow your business, help those around you grow theirs. If you feel stuck, go follow your passion and build your dream. If you feel confused, stop over analyzing. Life is simple. If you are in love, just say it out loud. There is never the perfect moment. This is your life and you only have few decades… do not waste it! This groovy picture made me think about my school years.
Most of the time at school, I walked around in a state of confusion. I did not understand a lot of what people were talking about. Theories, definitions, and facts were part of another world that everyone else belonged to, except me. I was a stranger in the classroom, not understanding the language. Growing up with dyslexia, ADD or ADHD was not an easy task. Most of the time, I was perceived as a problem child and more than once as a mentally challenged kid. I was suspended several times from school and had to take summer classes so I wouldn’t fail the school year. My academic years were so challenging, that for sure I was voted as the least likely to succeed. Anyway, although I lived in a constant state of confusion, I refused to accept it or to give up. I learned to compensate my inability to read and write by being very social, outgoing and able to resolve complicated problems with simple solutions. My brain could not absorb complicated solutions, so I always had to find the easiest way out. My view about life was always completely different than anyone else’s. Even better, I was able to identify problems and solutions before anyone else. Today, as and old man, I remain confused but realize that being an alien has become my biggest asset. So,.. I am thankful for my weakness that became my strength. |
Who I am today as a person is largely due to my failures! Archives
January 2024
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