There is always something that you can do

A few years ago, my wife and I attended a condo board meeting; we had come to the event because we were in disagreement with some of the leadership’s decisions. We felt that they were taking advantage of the residents but no one was willing to oppose them. The president of the board, an ex US Congressman, believed that he could pass any resolution with out any opposition.

When we challenged the board president in public, he arrogantly replied to us: “the decision has been made and there is nothing that you can do about it!”

"There is nothing you can do about it.” Ouch!

Every time I hear this phrase: “there is nothing you can do about it,” it is like getting punched in the face. I get mad, my blood boils, and I get ready for war.

When my kids see me putting my armor on, they tease me and say: “Mauchy (my nickname) take a chill pill and relax; have some patience and let it go.”

“Let it go…” Yes, I should listen to them and take a bottle of chill pills and become more patient, yet, my response to them always is the same: “You can not allow anyone to take advantage of you. Yes, you should be understanding, but know that to be patient is completely different than to be submissive.”

Tolerance is the level of endurance; it is patience, a character trait of being committed. Submissive is to be passive is to accept what happens without an active response or any resistance.

Passiveness is what I am entirely against. Submissiveness is taught at home, school or is a cultural phenomenon. People accept events that unfold in their lives due to how they were raised.

As a society we are taught not to react. We are taught to become imperceptive out of fear of retaliation, not wanting to be mocked, or presuming that no one will listen to us.

Often I listen to parents talking about their child’s situation at school; how they get pushed around or are made fun of, and how they simply dismiss it as something that will pass.

The truth is that it never just goes away.  With this approach, kids tend to believe that it’s normal to be bullied and that it's something you have to go through as part of being a child. They learn to be submissive and/or they stay scared forever; their self-esteem gets bruised because they did not confront their abuser or did not stand up for the challenge.

At home, we persistently preach to our kids not to be passive about a situation. If they do not agree with something, they should speak out and stand up for themselves. “At your age the worst thing that can happen is to have a bruised eye, ” we explain.

This is the period in their lives where they should be willing to risk it all, to take chances; to understand that uncertainty is good and that it will have a positive impact on their personality.

This is the time to mold their strength, to learn that they are the only one that can guard their self worth, and to not allow to anyone minimize them!

- After the Condo board president’s dare: “there is nothing that you can do about it” we did something about it. We got together, collected signatures for days and managed to get rid of the ruler and all of his collaborators. They were used to doing whatever they wanted without any challenge. The board and the residents thought that they were untouchable; they all were wrong!

‘Nothing you can do about it ’ is the wrong mindset.  Stand up for what you believe because there is always ‘something that you can do!’ - Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld

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