RESPECT

Yesterday, Nesrin and I went out for lunch. After parking in front of the restaurant I saw the guard that always takes care of all the customers and us.  I gave him a hug and teased him as I always do, and he starts to laugh. During our lunch Nesrin commented, “I like the way you treat all the workers, you show them respect and befriend them… … I think you should write about respect”.

So here I am… writing about respect

The dictionary defines respect as a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by his or her abilities, qualities, or achievements

In reality I do not think that I am that respectful, as many can attest to that! Sometimes I am kind of sarcastic and direct.  If someone is arrogant I become more arrogant. Many times I have hurt peoples feelings with my attitude but never intentionally.  I believe in not wasting time and being straight to the point.  That can be perceived as rude and arrogant.  I regret hurting people’s feelings and Nesrin keeps telling me there are different ways to say the same thing!

What I am is respectful to people that I believe are in a tougher position than me and are working hard.

My kids are taught to be polite to everyone no matter who it is, a nanny, a housekeeper, a tutor, a classmate...   They are lucky to live with people that work for our family. The words please and thank you are a must in their vocabulary and never can they be abusive or use a rude tone. 

This morning I was driving Gabriel, my son, to school and I was discussing with him my new blog about respect.  He commented, “mutual respect, people assume that they deserve to be served and it is their right. They expect to be respected, but they do not reciprocate.” Gabriel’s comment reminded me of my previous blog,  “Stay Real”, people have a tendency to become arrogant.

When I first arrived to the US with no English, alone with no friends or family, I was working as a laborer.  My background was from an upper middle class family and a very comfortable lifestyle. Now that I had nothing I realized what an idiot I had been, believing I deserved everything.

“The offspring of riches: Pride (self-important), vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny” Mark Twain

My second job in the US was working as a baker at Mr. Donuts.  One of my tasks was to clean the floors at the end of the shift. One night I was on my knees cleaning the floor and the main baker, an older man, stood next to my hands and put his foot in front of me pointing to the area and demanded I clean it over. I thought to myself this arrogant jerk used to do my job and now he feels empowered.  It did not make him a better person than me, but I was in a different position due to circumstances in life.

The guard at the restaurant stands on the sidewalk for 8 to 10 hours a day, always with a smile hoping that people will tip him. The majority of people walk past him and enter the restaurant not even acknowledging his existence.  So when I come and give him a hug, first, I remember my toughest days that I experienced, and I believe that I make his day by making him feel important and he matters.  At the end of the day we all matter and we need to respect that fact!

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