It’s 8:30 am and while sitting on a traffic light, I saw this gentleman getting his sign and chair ready; organizing and setting up his work station. He had a clean cut, he is in his mid 50s and appears to be an immigrant. Without doubt he is a beggar but clearly, he is not a bum; he has a job and a work schedule, and yes, he did arrive to work on time. 

Anyway, while sitting at the stop light, watching him settling in, I took a couple of bucks out of my pocket and said “sir, here is something for you to begin your day…” He smiled at me and moved along. I thought, this fellow, like many of us, has managed to arrive to this country looking for a better life, but he has not yet mastered the English language.

Thirty years ago, while paying my way through school, I used to be a door-to-door encyclopedia salesman. At that time, my English was “weak” (being too generous), and my experience as a sales person was none, but I did have the right attitude and determination to succeed. Every morning, 6 days a week,  I will show up to work at 8 am, and knock on the first door of my route by 8:05. Most mornings I would get mainly rejections, and more brush-offs I kept getting more demotivated with each rejection. Yet, some mornings, when I was inspired :) I was able to close a deal on my first stop; this early sale was the key for a profitable day, it gave me the momentum needed to do great all day.

So today when I saw this gentleman getting ready to go to battle, I decided to give him a small push, some momentum to begin the day.

Sometimes, we all need a little push…

​

It’s not illegal to escape horror, slavery, tyranny and persecution.
It’s not illegal to be a Christian, Muslim, Jew or Hindu to believe in God and the freedom to choose.
It’s not illegal for non-natives to look for the betterment of his/hers family and the people that they care about.
It’s not illegal to be a human being that believes in humanity, compassion and understanding.
It’s not illegal to be an immigrant striving for a legal path for a better life or just to stay alive!
It’s not illegal to be an immigrant; yet, it’s criminal to separate families because of their color of skin or religious beliefs.

It’s not illegal to be an asylum seeker; yet, it’s criminal and deplorable to lock up asylum seekers!

​When you feel extremely angry, when you are physically and emotionally over stimulated, count to 10, 100 or a 1000 and then react…
 
If it does not work try this:
 
1. - Delay your reaction; separate your emotions from your actions
2. - Understand why are you so disappointed. Do your homework.
3. - Do not play the victim; the worst thing you can do is blame the entire universe for your problems.
4. - Find a safe haven to relax, to get distracted, to be alone, to focus.
5. - When you feel ready, react and make intelligent decisions.
 
Own your anger. Don’t let it own you.
​

​A few days ago I celebrated my 51st birthday, like always, a birthday gives you the opportunity to evaluate the year before and to begin with a clean slate.
 
Anyway, looking back at my 50th made me realize that last year was probably one of the toughest years. At this age, I thought that I was all set and was ready to enjoy the dividends... However, for some reason or another, issues kept turning up all year. Piece by piece, everything began to go wrong, and at 50, I was bitten and managed to get knocked out.

Though, a year later, thanks to the support of my wife, our kids and true-friends, we managed one more time, to build a momentum.
 
For all that, I do have a lesson to share:
 
First, when I felt everything crashing around me, I lost my motivation to keep moving, I lost my motivation to write, to teach; I lost my drive.  In my mind, I lost the authority to talk about resilience; I became a sad and disappointed individual.
It took almost a year for the storm to finally come to a halt, and to realize that my credo, my attitude towards failure, is what kept me going.
 
Today, after the turmoil, I believe that I become stronger and wiser… bolder and older :) I understand shit happens to everyone but only a few have the stamina to get up and stay operational. Like our daughter, Daniela, will say, “shit happens, just step over it”.
 
This past year, I learned to refocus and to restructure; I learned to believe and to distrust people. This year, I understood of how many friendships I have and how many I have managed to destroy, how few true friends I have and about the people that truly never cared about me.
 
After this year, at 51, I have decided to show again my badge: If I fail, I’ll try again, again and again knowing that it is not the end; knowing that what matters is how I’m going to finish; knowing that I am going to finish strong. I always stay true to myself and to my family!
 
Now, at 51, as an older man, I can't afford to forget again: Resilience is the ability to confront stressful, difficult and sometimes devastating situations by attacking the adversity head on! Resilience is to have the strength to pull oneself together, to overcome the unimaginable; to have the confidence, independence, honesty, flexibility and optimism.
 
Today, at 51, I am thankful for were I am, honest to myself!
 
Peace out!

A young man has been carrying a telephone number of a girl he likes for many years; he is a shy young man with some type of a speech impediment and a slight stutter.

While sitting with him I listened as he talked about this girl. I told him, “today you are going to call her, what are you waiting for?”

It took few minutes of motivation and finally he agreed to call her:

Ring, ring... ring, ring...
“hello” a man answered the phone. It sounded like her father
“May I speak with María?”
“María” the man on the other side replied 
“Who is this? Is this a prank call” clearly annoyed...
“No, no” with a nervous tone “this is George a friend of hers...”
After a few seconds of silence, the father continued “María died two years ago...”

This young man felt the shock as if he had been hit with a bat; he was not prepared or ever imagined the death of his beloved. In his mind, he had created a life with Maria and today everything that he dreamed of just got demolished, it all came crashing down in pieces.
The sadness in his eyes and the pain was so profound... I could not hold myself and I brooke out in tears.
 
He had been carrying this phone number in his pocket for years waiting for the right moment.

__ I woke up with tears in my eyes, with a feeling of emptiness, sadness... what a powerful dream!
​I thought to myself, "how many of us have been in a similar situation, in situations where we waited for too long, missed opportunities, never knowing what would of happened if we only called”

Keep in mind: 
Life is what happens to us while working a plan to live 
Life is not a matter of waiting for the right moment to act because it will never be the right time. 
Life is about living, getting up and going for it!

It was not a happy dream but it was a good reminder. Thank you!

When you lack confidence, focus in accomplishing one thing at a time… nothing else!
 
Often our self-confidence is pounded; we lack motivation or do not have the confidence to move forward. At times, it's hard to get out of bed; we feel lost or defeated and we do not know how to get back on track… It happens to all of us!
 
So here is the question: How can I manage to come out of the hole, to build my courage and get my confidence back?
 
People do not realize that self-confidence works like a muscle, and, like any other muscle, in order to make it stronger, and increase endurance it must constantly be trained.
 
From my own experience, the best training method to build up self-confidence is by being willing to take action on a daily basis.
 
Daily-action stands for ‘every-day action.’ Day-to-day you must come up with a small action plan, a plan that you know that with enough effort you will be able to accomplish it.
 
Everyday, just push your fears aside and go for it, knowing that you will achieve your daily-plan. Then, next day come up with another action plan, achieve it and the third day achieve it again… By acting on your small daily-action plans, you will be moving forward step by step.
 
With time, these actions will build a positive momentum; your mind will start to envision successful results and these will re-enforce your confidence!
 
Be mindful: By taking daily-action, you feel accomplished; as a result, your self-confidence will skyrocket!  Just like a muscle, everyone is trainable!

‘Generation 1.5’ (G1.5) is used for people that were brought to the US at a young age, before adolescence by first generation immigrants; by immigrant parents that never really integrated, keeping close ties with their home countries and always dreaming of the day that they will be able to return to their native countries.
 
Since these immigrants never saw the US as their home, their kids, G1.5 is a generation who exist in limbo, between two nations, two cultures, with no clear identity.
 
Nesrin, my wife was a G1.5 kid, she arrived in her early teens to the US when her father was transferred to Washington, DC.  Like any other immigrant teenager, her adjustment to a whole new way of life was not easy, trying to conform while her parents still had a foot in there homeland.
 
The crazy part is that:
 
For the immigrants that entered in the US as undocumented, their children, their G1.5 offspring have a lot to overcome.
 
Despite having lived most of their lives in the US, having siblings born in the US and speak fluent English, many can not get working permits, get a drivers license, or vote. Just like any other undocumented migrant they are subject to arrest and deportation. They do not have the right to live in the great America.
 
What happens if they get deported? Many of them do not speak other than English and have no bond with their countries of origin. For them to be evicted is like being put-away, with no chance for parole.
 
It is insane to imagine that in this great country, a country built by immigrants, that a young person that was raised all his/her life here, has no rights and could be deported!
 
So, what can we do about it?
 
First, we must care!  America was and continues to be built by legal and illegal immigrants. They are industrial-entrepreneurial people willing to risk; people that are responsible for creating a resilient-America, an America that strives.
 
Because we care, we should advocate laws and candidates that support ‘generation 1.5’ to get a legal status.
 
We must speak up against ‘leaders’ that have an irrational fear of people from different countries, cultures or religion; we must stand up to these bigoted honchos that believe that their opinion is superior then any regular mortal.
 
Most importantly we should view ‘generation 1.5’ as an asset rather than a liability, an investment rather than a cost. The majority is not here to collect social benefits, but they here to learn, to find work and to improve their lives and those of their families.
 
In the same way as my beautiful ‘G1.5 wife’ did! 
​

All my life, I have been dealing with depression. As a teenager, I was able to camouflage it by being extremely extroverted, partying and drinking with ‘friends’. Well, this cover did not last for long; in my late teens, I moved away from home to a different country, to a different culture, to a place where I could not even speak the language. There, for the first time, I had to deal alone with my issues.
 
Alone in a different country, not having a scape route, I had to learn about my depression. At night, I would sit alone on the floor of my room, (didn’t own any furniture), and cry, and cry. I would work as a laborer during the day and then come home, broke, alone and depressed.
 
Slowly, I began to learn about myself; how stupid I had been and how my reality was not a good reality. With time I learned to manage my depression; when I say “with time”, I mean it that it took me years to really understand my brain. But now at 50, I believe that I have a ‘good grip’ of myself.
 
So, I would like to share how I managed to climb out of the ditch:
 
First, I put down all my guards. Any shield, any wall that was protecting me, I put it down. It was not easy; actually, it was one of the hardest things I had ever done. My defensive mechanism was to always be around people drinking, smoking and ‘having fun’; I was always shielded, I was never alone.
 
Then, I had to accept, that I did not care about other people; I was self-absorbed and I was there just to be entertained.

And finally, the toughest one: I do have plenty of mental issues and I had to learn to deal with them.
 
I never reached out for help or any type of medicine, which I think was one of my biggest errors.  Although, I did learn to peace my mind by exercising, reading and finding healthy people to be around me.
 
Now, I use this guideline:

• STOP, step back and self-reflect: don’t allow depression to take over your mind. Find the root of those feelings. 
• Allow yourself to be sad: sadness is good; it allows you to think clearly and focus. Allow sadness to be a temporary stage.
• Find a quick release mechanism: for me writing has become my best phyicologist, it allows me to put my thoughts and pains on paper. Also, a good jog will make it, an inspirational TED talk, or a motivational book.
• Find people better than you: when I say better than you, I mean find empathetic people that would understand what you are going through and willing to slog along.
• ACT, which is the most important: when you are beginning to crash, take action and move along quickly. To stand still is to allow sorrow to occupy your soul. Actions builds strength, creates momentum, energy!

 
Darkness is something that has always encircled me; it is a part of my mind and soul so I am always attentive to it. It has been a fifty-year relationship and like any relationship, with time we learn to understand each other. The times when it becomes too dark or too cold, I quickly light a candle or if I need it, the fireplace.