As a teenager, I transferred to a different high school but a few of my classmates were not excited about me being there. Some of them constantly made “smart” comments; for a few days I was being bullied and I did not know how to react since I was a new student.
 
So, how can I deal with a bully?
 
A bully is an insecure person that lacks the ability to build meaningful connections with others. Often they are afraid to be seen as weak or understanding.

The best way to deal with a bully is to first  stand strong and put a stop, then show that you care about them…
 
At school, after a few days of harassment, I realized that I had to put a stop to it: one punch at a time. Weeks later, we became great friends; friends for life.
 
Keep in mind: Bullying is a cry for attention!

I am the type of guy that likes to disagree, who is stubborn, and hot headed.Yet, with time, I hope to learn that to disagree is good when it is a tolerant-disagreement.

To be tolerant is to be willing to accept others peoples opinions and beliefs; Tolerant-disagreement is to keep an open mind and truly trying to understand others peoples point of views.
 
Tolerant-disagreement means to disagree in a civil manner; it is when you stop and ask yourself, “I might be wrong.”
 
When we disagree and debate, we learn and grow. It is a good thing; in fact we should encourage disagreement to improve our understanding of the people and the world around us.

Just one thing:  don’t be stubborn, know when to walkaway... Something that I am learning with time.

Prayer Helps to Reduce Anxiety and Stress
By: Julie Morris a Life and Career Coach

​For many people around the world, prayer is what connects them to a higher spiritual existence - whether that be God, the universe, nature, or some combination. However it’s done, prayer is an important tool for the religious and spiritual.
 
Prayer can be more than just a daily ritual, however. When you pray, you’re not just practicing your faith and getting closer to God - in fact you may be actually altering your brain to help reduce stress and anxiety, which can lead to bad habits.
 
Prayer and other forms of meditation are thought to helps elicit calming effects on the human body. Some studies have suggested that when you pray, you’re actually helping your body cope with life’s big stresses.
 
Prayer has the power to calm you. Anyone who practices frequent prayer will tell you that it helps them slow down and focus on their spirituality amidst a hectic life. But when you relax, prayer could actually be triggering your brain to produce a calming reaction. Physically, your body may better regulate itself to calm you down.
 
“An oft-cited study by Dr. Herbert Benson, a cardiovascular medicine specialist at Harvard Medical School, documented the potential healing benefits of spiritual practices, such as prayer and meditation (as well as hypnosis and other relaxation techniques). In his book Healing Words, Larry Dossey writes that Benson demonstrated that the body responds to these practices with what he calls the relaxation response, which consists of ‘a lowering of the heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate; a reduced need for oxygen; less carbon dioxide production.’ In effect, the relaxation response is the opposite of the stress response and can be consciously used to modulate the impact of stress,” says The University of Minnesota.
 
According to this research prayer actually slows your heart rate and lowers your blood pressure. These physical changes help to enforce a stronger mind-body link, allowing you to relax.
 
Sometimes this doesn’t work as planned, however. Depending on your feelings about God and spirituality, prayer can produce negative effects in terms of anxiety.
 
“For many people, God is a source of comfort and strength,” researcher Matt Bradshaw, Ph.D tells Psych Central. “And through prayer, they enter into an intimate relationship with Him and begin to feel a secure attachment. When this is the case, prayer offers emotional comfort, resulting in fewer symptoms of anxiety disorders. Some people, however, have formed avoidant or insecure attachments to God, explains Bradshaw. This means that they do not necessarily believe that God is there for them. Prayer starts to feel like an unsuccessful attempt at having a close relationship with God. Feelings of rejection or ‘unanswered’ prayers may lead to severe symptoms of anxiety-related disorders,” he says.
 
Your mind is tricky, and it’s not just about sitting down to pray. You have to be in a good place, or prayer may not have the intended effect. Those that believe that their prayers are received are more likely to see the stress-reducing benefits many associate with the practice.
 
In the end, deep, thoughtful, earnest prayer can help you cope with the stress of everyday life by helping you understand that your life has purpose and not every little thing is under your control. Prayer can come in many shapes and sizes, but as long as you have the power of your convictions, it can be a great tool to reduce anxiety and provide a better sense of purpose and wellbeing.
 
Photo Credit: Pexels.com
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​While walking in DC a friend approached me “Mauricio, I have been thinking about this concept of failure…”
“Tell me about it,” I replied
“You know, I am in a deadfall, I feel depressed and do not have any idea where to begin and how to climb out of this hole”
After a few seconds I replied:  “Well my friend, you just need to focus in accomplishing one thing at a time… nothing else.”
 
Often our self-confidence is pounded; we lack motivation or do not have the confidence to move forward. At times, it's hard to get out of bed; we feel lost or defeated and we do not know how to get back on track… It happens to all of us!
 
So here is the question: How can I manage to come out of the hole, to build my courage and get my confidence back?
 
People do not realize that self-confidence works like a muscle, and, like any other muscle, in order to make it stronger, and increase endurance it must constantly be trained.
 
From my own experience, the best training method to build up self-confidence is by being willing to take action on a daily basis.
 
Daily-action stands for ‘every-day action.’ Day-to-day you must come up with a small action plan, a plan that you know that with enough effort you will be able to accomplish it.
 
Everyday, just push your fears aside and go for it, knowing that you will achieve your daily-plan. Then, next day come up with another action plan, achieve it and the third day achieve it again… By acting on your small daily-action plans, you will be moving forward step by step.
 
With time, these actions will build a positive momentum; your mind will start to envision successful results and these will re-enforce your confidence!
 
Rashid, my friend, a veteran from the air force has been living on the streets for years. For the past year he and I have built an amiable relationship. We talk about our internal battles, successes and flops and his time of service in Korea.
 
While sitting next to him on the sidewalk, and listening to his fears, I ask him “do you know how to read?”
He looked at me as if I was a moron and replied  “who do you think I am, but of course!“
I smiled and asked him to wait for me, and then I thought to myself, “that sounded funny as if he was going somewhere.”
 
I drove to the bookstore and bought 2 copies of the same book. I returned to Rashid with the books:
“My friend, this is what I want you to do: every morning just read one chapter of the book, then you would feel that you accomplished something, slowly you will begin to build momentum and read 2, 3, and 4 chapters a day. Your self-confidence will build up step by step.
I got the same book, so we can talk about it”

Rashid looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes and smiled… “Thank you!”
 
“Remember, everyday one chapter at a time; don’t try to change your life at once… pasito a pasito (step by step in Spanish)”
 
Be mindful: By taking daily-action, you feel accomplished; as a result, your self-confidence will skyrocket!  Just like a muscle, everyone is trainable!

I was having a discussion with a friend about the current events, the immigration and Muslim ban, the construction of a wall and so forth when he commented in a contemptuous way “what are you going to do about it?” Practically saying,  “nothing will change.” His comment kept me awake all night...

So, this is my answer:
It takes guts to stand up to injustice, yet: it takes resistance and resolution to force a change!
 
Until now, the majority of us were not happy with what was happening, and we were content by just complaining about it at our dinner table; only a few had the guts to protest and a few had the stamina to resist.
 
Well, that was the case before Trump. Trump has insulted our democracy and threatened our freedoms where it has empowered so many to find the stamina and perseverance to resist.
 
So my friend, I do believe that there is plenty to do and there are plenty of people that are willing to refuse to accept!
 
So for the entire dissatisfied population,  I do have a to-do list:
 
First, if you don’t agree with the status quo, speak up. ​Be loud and proud, their voice can’t be louder than ours.
 
Second, put your money where your mouth is. If there is an organization like the ACLU that is fighting for us or NPR that provides true information, make a commitment, a monthly pledge to contribute $5, $10 or any amount you are comfortable with.

Third, talk to your Senators and congressmen/women, put pressure on them; it works!
 
Last but not least, have the resolution to resist. This is not a sprint but a marathon and only the strong-willed will secure the future of our kids.
 
"It takes guts to stand up to injustice…
Yet, it takes resistance and resolution to force a change!" - Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld
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