We as a family with 3 kids, ages 15,14, and 12 have dealt with major changes in our lives for the past 4 years. I am talking of major changes, schools, houses and countries. We moved from Washington, DC, where they were born and raised, to Ecuador. After 3 years in Ecuador we moved to Spain. We have been in Spain less than one year when we got word we have to move back to DC at the end of the school year.
My first reaction was full of anxiety, thinking more changes for the kids; we have not had time to enjoy Spain, our home and everything that we came for. To say the least, I hardly got any sleep that night.
The next day I thought to myself, how do I present this to the kids? First, if I do it now my negative sentiments will be delivered along with the message! Not good! My kids will translate the change as anxious and negative. I needed to breath and think! Mind over matter!
That is when I put all my previous thoughts on one side and started to look at all the positive things related to this change. We will be able to focus on our business more, their father will commute less, they will reunite with their old friends, DC is central where some friends from Ecuador travel to, and they will be back home!
Once I was able to eliminate all negative thoughts about the change and started to view it as positive, then I could translate those positive thoughts in my message of the move to my kids.
The result? First surprise, then questions, mixed feelings, and finally with 3 days to process they saw exactly what I saw as positive.
Sometimes we become consumed with why something is negative and we forget to look at a situation from a different perspective. Yes, it is hard, but we must learn to embrace changes and not get attached to things that do not impact who we are. Our surroundings enrich us as people through the experience and not through ownership. Therefore every new experience enriches who we are as people.
In high school I had an assignment to write what I wanted my tombstone to say about me. This is what I wrote, "If I had to live my life over I would not change a thing, including my mistakes. Mistakes are part of having an experience and I was blessed with the time I had to have an experience and to learn from it."
Life is the sum of all your experiences, good or bad!