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I Love Failure

It is essential, day by day,
to remain responsible
for our actions and decisions,
​accepting our faults
​without assigning blame


A VISIT FROM MY GRANDFATHER

5/28/2014

1 Comment

 
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This morning, my grandfather, my Abuelito, came to visit me in my dream. 

He took me for a walk around his farm, we climbed some trees and he showed me what was wrong with the ends of  the branches. He  gave me advice on how to repair the damage. We talked about the soil and fertilizers that was needed.

Abuelito's passion was his farm and he understood plants. He knew where to plant them, how much sun light, how much shade, water and attention was needed. He had avocados, plums, lemons, limes, figs, and roses among others.  His farm was healthy and beautiful. It was the jewel of the region.  

Agricultural engineers would come to learn from him, and understand how he was able to produce these great fruits and flowers. 

While touring the farm with him, In my dream, I took a camera and began to record the moment  knowing that he had come back to visit me and that he was not going to stay long.

While dreaming I realized that I was dreaming and that moment was going to be gone after waking up.

So, while having this vivid dream I decided to slow down, to enjoy the dream and to make a conscious effort to remember most of the dream. After a while my grandfather slowly began to leave, so I decided that it was time to wake up.

Upon waking up, I stayed with my eyes closed making the effort to remember most of the visit. Trying to recall everything that happened.

When I opened my eyes the sky was very bright with a full moon and the clouds were like waves in the sky. My body was full of energy and I had an incredible internal peace.

I closed my eyes again, and just laid there to savor the moment. Reflecting about the visit.

Some ideas began to make sense and I realized why my grandfather came to visit me. He had a purpose. 

I opened my eyes again looked up at the sky and all the clouds had changed into the shape of fire works.   The clouds had exploded. It was not a chaotic explosion but a joyful explosion. It was as if he had accomplished his mission.

At that moment, prior to the sun rising, I grabbed my computer and began to write about this great experience when everything was fresh in my memory. I did not want to forget any of the details.

As a kid I grew up with my grand parents at the farm that I visited in my dream.  My grandmother and grandfather became my parents.

Abuelito was a very special man. He was a very sharp and fair businessman; a wise and generous man.

I have my best childhood memories from those days spent at the farm in Tumbaco, Ecuador.

As an old man Abuelito divided the inheritance, including the farm, among his kids. He had decided to keep a small piece of this magnificent farm where the house was located for him self. Hoping to enjoy his last years in his home.

Nesrin and I were lucky to be able to negotiate and purchase this last parcel of the farm. My grandfather, grandmother and father were able to spend their last years in their home on the farm. 

With time the city grew and the property became part of a commercial area in the city. So we decided that it was time to let it go.

Our kids were very disappointed because they loved the farm.

I explained that I too, love my memories that I had at the farm but that is all they are, memories. I cannot obligate my kids to live in the past. My memories were great but they were mine. It was time for them to create their own memories.

While negotiating the sale of the property, I told the buyer… keep in mind I am selling you the piece of land, I am not selling you the trees. Dona Carmen, the buyer looked at me and smiled. A few months later before signing the deed I reiterated to her, remember I am selling the land, not the trees, again she smiled at me thinking "what is he talking about."

Later, when she took over the property, she was surprised that the property had few trees. The majority of the plants were gone.

In a period of 6 months we had managed to move 35 fruit trees from the farm to our home. 40 year old avocado trees, 35 year old lemon trees, peaches, tangerines, plums even all the medicinal plants that belonged to my grand mother. It was a big project but the result was great; from all 35 trees that we took only 3 did not make it.

In a period of 6 months at home, we were able to build a beautiful farm;  a farm with a soul.
 
Today when Abuelito came to visit me I clearly understood why…

First, he was happy and proud of me for saving his plants and trees. He had spent more than 50 years  caring and loving those plants.

Most importantly, he came to guide me. He came to provide me with direction.  He came to help me put all my ideas together.  He knew that lately I have been a bit off track and he came to help me to get back on track.

In the morning I got up energized and excited about life. As a child, I knew that I could always count on him. After last nights adventure, I know that when I am in need of some guidance I can reach out to him. 

While working on this essay, I turned around to the sky. It was 6:00 am and not one cloud in the sky.  The sky was sunny and clear and that is how my mind felt, clear and serene.

My grandparents had a positive impact on me. I am glad that when they got old I was able to be there and be a part of their lives until the end. 


“Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue” - Buddha


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1 Comment
Angel Cordova
5/28/2014 08:59:37 am

There is a saying around life cycle:

Have a Kid
Plant a Tree
Write a Book

Shall we include...let life plant a seed of wisdom in your heart, so when you grow up, you can harvest the fruits, with lovely memories, with a meaning for Life!

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    Who I am today as a person is largely due to my failures!
    Failures are the speed bumps in life that matter!  They are not regrets but small disappointments that wake up the strength within us! Failures are the process of learning and improving!  Without failures we simply are at a status quo!  

    "success is built on many failures..." 

    Mauricio Fraga-Rosenfeld

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